irks & quirks

Ever wondered why the groom has a bestman or why the families of the happy couple sit on opposite sides of the church? Or have you been asked to be a bridesmaid and not sure what your role should be? Following are roles, traditions and origins of some wedding irks and quirks (which can vary depending on the culture) – not to be taken too seriously!


Roles

Bridesmaid:
	assist the bride in making decisions
	attend dress fittings & rehearsals
	assist the Maid/Matron of honour
	be supportive and keep the bride calm
Maid of Honour (or Matron if married):
	coordinate the other bridesmaids
	organise the bridal shower/hen’s night
	assist the bride in making decisions
	attend dress fittings & rehearsals
	help the bride get ready
	assist with positioning any veils, trains, etc.
	look after the bridal bouquet
	sign the marriage certificate as a witness
	keep a record of gifts
	be supportive and keep the bride calm
Flower Girl:
	walks ahead of the bridesmaids either carrying a small bouquet or scattering flower petals
Bestman:
	provide support to the groom
	organise bucks night/bachelor party
	attend suit hire fittings & rehearsals
	gets groom to the ceremony
	carries the rings (if no Page Boy)
	commences the speeches/toasts at reception
Groomsmen:
	provide support to the groom
	organise bucks night/bachelor party
	attend suit hire fittings & rehearsals
	arrive at ceremony early to greet guests
Page Boy (or Ring Bearer):
	walks with the flower girl carrying the wedding rings (usually) on a satin pillow

Origins & Meanings

Wedding: means to wager or gamble

Bride: means “cook”

Best man: use to assist the groom in capturing his bride

Bridesmaid: use to dress like the bride and act as a decoy in case of kidnappers

The ring finger: named because it was believed that the “vein of love” runs from the third finger on the left hand, directly to the heart

Engagement ring: from the custom of “securing” the bride's wrists and ankles with reeds to prevent her from getting away; a diamond was called a Venus stone and thus became associated with love; a deposit/promise to look after the bride

The wedding ring: a sign of trust from the groom & security for the bride; everlasting (continuous circle)

Something Old, Something New: Something Old - to continue the history/link with the bride’s family; Something New - hope and good fortune; Something Borrowed - ties with family and friends; Something Blue - fidelity and loyalty

Bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony: in the case of prearranged marriages it was to prevent the groom from running away from a bride he didn’t find attractive enough

Wearing a veil: as above; and to ward off evil spirits

Wearing a white dress:

Married in White, you have chosen right,
Married in Blue, your love will always be true,
Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,
Married in Brown, you will live in town,
Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,
Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,
Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,
Married in Pink, your spirit will sink,
Married in Grey, you will go far away,
Married in Black, you will wish yourself back

The Bridal bouquet – to keep away evil spirits (individual flowers have their own meanings)

Being escorted down the aisle – this was because the bride couldn’t see through her veil and therefore needed assistance

Families sitting on opposite sides of the church – in the case of an arranged marriage to unite and bring peace between two warring factions, the families sat on separate sides so as to prevent fighting

Throwing confetti/rice – to promote fertility

The wedding “toast” – the French used to place a piece of toast in the bottom of their wine cups to absorb the dreg

Cutting & sharing the first piece of cake - a commitment by the bride and groom to provide for each other & share their lives

Giving a piece of the cake as a gift to guests – so single female guests will dream of their future husbands (if they sleep with a piece of wedding cake underneath their pillows)

Throwing the garter/bouquet – a piece of the bride’s outfit is considered good luck; person that catches the garter/bouquet will be the next one to marry

Carrying the bride over the threshold - to prevent the bride from tripping & bringing bad luck (also only way to transport a bride not too happy with her arranged marriage!); ward off evil spirits

Honeymoon - after the groom kidnapped his bride he would go into hiding for one month (a moon) so her family wouldn’t find her

Not sure what month to get married in?:

Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind and true.
When February birds do mate, You wed nor dread your fate.
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know.
Marry in April when you can, Joy for Maiden and for Man.
Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day.
Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you'll go.
Those who in July do wed, must labour for their daily bred.
Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see
Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and fine.
If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry.
If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come,
Remember, when December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last.
Marry in May and you'll live to rue the day
Marry in Lent, live to repent 

Traditions

	Bridal party all pay for their own outfits
	Flower girl/page boy’s parents pay for their outfits
	The bride & groom present the groomsmen and bridesmaids gifts before the ceremony
	The bride & groom give a small gift/momento to each guest as a thankyou for attending their special occasion (also known as bon bonniere, e.g. chocolates presented in a bag/box)
	Only a first-time bride wears a veil
	The bride wears a garter above the knee on her right leg
	The bride’s mother is always seated last at the ceremony
	Toast order – father of the bride, groom, bestman

Decorating Tips

	Collect photos, articles, cut outs, samples, etc. that interest you and collate them for future reference, comparison and showing to your coodinator/decorators.
	Invest in some kind of Wedding Planner’, whether it be a notebook, specially designed planner or a folder or file of some kind - you will be surprised how often you use it and it's also something nice to look back on in years to come.
	Choose your colours early in the planning stage. Try and choose a colour that is timeless, rather than a current fad, as you will have your wedding photos forever to remember.
	Be bold and personalise your ideas. Don’t let friends and family influence your ideas or talk you out of something you have your heart set on. Express these ideas to your decorator so that they can ensure your touches are in the planning process.
	Centrepieces are in important part of your wedding table statement. Along with the food, service and entertainment, a room décor can make or break a good wedding ambience. Again, choose something that reflects both your personalities.
	Choose a professional wedding decorator to complete all facets of your reception and ceremony décor. Decorators know what looks best and generally have the best ideas for placement so you should feel more comfortable giving this job to a professional. Enjoy the day with your family and friends and don’t get caught up in the nitty gritty on your wedding day!